The Sense of an Ending(回憶的餘燼)這本小說越讀越有味.前面的鋪陳彷彿細火慢燉,到最後才顯出醇美的滋味,讓人不斷回首去重溫精細的伏筆,然後才從心底”啊”地一聲:原來是這樣!最末尾男主角Tony在酒館吃薯條的場景,作者以薯條隱喻人生,是我讀過的最棒的小說結尾之一.
Ond day, I said to the barman,”Do you think you could do me thin chips for a change?”
“How do you mean?”
“You know, like in France---the thin ones.”
“No, we don’t do them.”
“But it says on the menu your chips are hand-cut.”
“Yes.”
“Well, can’t you cut them thinner?”
The Barman’s normal affableness took a pause. He looked at me as if he was’nt sure whether I was a pedant or an idiot,or quite possible both.
“Hand-cut chips means fat chips.”
“But if you hand cut chips, couldn’t you cut them thinner?”
“We don’t cut them. That’s how they arrive.”
“You don’t cut them on the premises?”
“Tha’t what I said.”
“So what you call ’hand-cut chips’ are actually cut elswhere, and quite probably by a machine?”
“Are you from the counceil or something?”
“Not in the least. I’m just puzzled. I never realized that ‘hand-cut’ meant ‘fat’ rather than “ncecessarily cut by hand.’”
“Well, you do now.”
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t get it.”
上述對話,顯示出Tony的執拗,不明.他對人生的某些面向一直是誤解的,與常人的認知不同.於是他經常聽到的一句話是You don’t get it.就像音樂裡的motif, You don’t get it.是這本小說反覆出現的主題.而且有各種的變奏,裝飾奏.如同他的前女友Veronica說的: You just don’t get it…..You never did, and you never will.試想,一個人的一生如果永遠沒搞懂某些點,那麼他對別人的反應,或者別人對他的看法,就不可能有交集與溝通.片面的理解造成了誤解與傷害.原本以為是對的,到頭來發現是錯的.特別是在遲暮之年才醒悟,傷痕已印,徒留悔恨.由是,小說以這樣的兩行文字結束:There is accumulation. There is responsibility. And beyond these, there is unrest. There is great unrest.
在真相已經乎之欲出的時刻,Tony仍處於懵懂未明的狀態.也許是自我保護的機制?他聽到驚人的事實時,反應如下: Automatically, I ate a chip. Then another. There wasn’t enough salt on them. That’s the disadvantage of fat chips. They have too much potatoey inside. Whith thin chips, not only is there more crispy outside, but the salt is better distributed too.細薯條比粗切的好.不但外皮更酥,而且鹽花分佈均勻.唉,即便理解到世事不盡如人願,他還是希望人生照著自己的想望走.但人生畢竟無法客製化啊.回家之後他終於想通了.And later, at home, going over it all, after some time, I understood. I got it.
Julian Barnes舉重若輕,不著斧痕,輕易就把一生的誤解與頓悟融在尋常場景.現實人生不也如此?好個圓融溫潤的作家!
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