公告版位
祝大家2012年新年快樂!!

 

   ~~~~~,我拿起電話,話筒傳來一陣啜泣聲,我立刻認出是媽媽的同窗H阿姨.靜靜地讓她哭完,阿姨不好意思的說:”XX,真失禮,可是,自從你媽過世後我沒有說話的對象.我的腳不好,不能走動,全身都酸痛,活得好辛苦.”她是個客氣的人,萬不得已,不會隨便打擾人.我知道她的艱苦,柔聲說:隨時打電話來沒關係.H阿姨獨居已經很久了.她算是會打發日子的.聽音樂,看洋片,畫圖,做禮拜.她們那一輩的人水準高.她喜歡聽大提琴,煤氣燈下等老片.不時拿出已逝丈夫從前寫給她的情書來讀.我雖還未進入老年,卻也能夠體會她的孤獨無奈委屈.這幾年,我被迫成長成熟許多.

   老年人多半靠記憶而活.父親家裡,貼滿過去的照片.有他們雙人儷影,有我們一家四口,有祖孫三代…..,過去的美好時光映照現在的孤寂.我看了很難過.我陪伴父親的時間有限,他獨處的時間很長.我想像他除了固定游泳,散步以外,大部份都坐在電視前,看累了就打盹,醒來又繼續看.電視不但可以陪小孩也可以陪老人.父親雖多愁善感卻很堅強,每晚對自己說good night, good luck.加油.他從不埋怨我們,只會感謝我們為他做的一切.每次打電話提醒他吃藥,他都很誠懇地說謝謝.

   我和父親一起看NHK名著專輯.我的日文不好,半看半猜.一個叫卡斯帕爾(?)的作家提到人的痛苦與恐懼.日本人引申出來的是:熟年離婚----孤獨死.無論離婚或喪偶,單身向晚總是愁.孤獨也許不是老人的專利,但是單身的老人,日子再怎麼充實,總有一絲滄涼悄悄洩露.台北的陳媽媽體態輕盈如我輩.她每早必做一套伸展體操.手巧的她以做衣服為樂:”專心做衫讓我忘卻煩惱.”紐澤西的雪姑每天游泳,烹飪,邊看電視邊打毛線.她說得有聲有色,我卻嗅聞得到倔強背影後偶爾的委屈.即使與家人同住,孤獨仍是難免.”阿媽平日很少出門,多半在家看書或做家事.我們忙著工作讀書,不常帶她出去.”這是牧師的女兒寫的.我因幫她改作文而意外瞥見牧師媽的家常身影.

   很喜歡Nina Simone唱的Another Spring.有一陣子開車的時候經常聽,卻只任音樂流淌,從沒把歌詞聽進去.不知何故,有一天竟聽懂了,講的是獨居老嫗的孤獨寂寞.兒女長大離家,老伴已不在,每天喃喃自語,無人道晚安.冬夜寒氣透骨,活著有何意思……..,然而,有一天醒來,赫然發現春天已到,花兒盛開,鳥兒啁啾,,感恩現有的一切.時光雖已流逝,往日不再,但美好的記憶仍存.有幸見到另一個春天,不再哀傷自憐.世界仍是美好的.

  

   And then one morning
Another spring is there outside my door
Things are blooming
Birds are singing
And suddenly yes well I ain't sad
Ain't sad no more ain't sad no more

When it's warm and the sun is out
It's like my heart's restored
I've had my love I've had my children
And I have so many memories
So don't mind me complaining
What the years may bring

Cos this old world has been fine with me really
And I'm thankful for seeing another spring
It's gonna be better this time another spring
It's gonna be groovier this time another spring
It's what's happening this time
So I'm thankful for letting me see another spring

 

                                                                              祝福所有的單身老人.  

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   大學時期,系上辦了好些優質的演講:聶光炎,賴聲川,顏元叔,劉森堯.....,都是令人印象深刻,言之有物的講者.可最有趣也最令人難忘的題目,是曾宣毅老師講的"熱門音樂與英詩."熱門音樂一詞如今已少聞.當年,只要是西洋流行音樂,無論是搖滾民謠流行,一律稱之"熱門."曾老師高高瘦瘦,戴著黑框眼鏡,很樸實的模樣.他發下一張講義,上面有流行歌曲的歌詞與若干英詩.那些歌曲都是經典,卻不是我慣常聽的.初次聆聽,開啟了新領域.他選得好,都是歌詞有深意,曲調好聽的歌曲.最喜歡的是披頭四的Norwegian Wood.簡單的配器,清清爽爽.素樸的歌詞,很有張力與情節.

I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me... 
She showed me her room, isn't it good, norwegian wood? 

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere, 
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair. 

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine 
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed" 

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh. 
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath 

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown 
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, norwegian wood.

 

 

 

英式幽默與驚人的結局.

我把這首歌牢牢記住了.

彼時村上紅透半邊天的"挪威的森林"尚未出版.何況那是一個謬誤的翻譯.

相對應的似乎(我的記憶不靈光,手邊也沒留下講義)是濟慈的La Belle Dame sans Merci: A Ballad.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.

I see a lily on thy brow,
With anguish moist and fever-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.
I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan

I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery’s song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna-dew,
And sure in language strange she said—
‘I love thee true’.

She took me to her Elfin grot,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lullèd me asleep,
And there I dreamed—Ah! woe betide!—
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!’

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gapèd wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

同樣都是被女性所迷惑.都是夢一場.悽慘的結尾.The beautiful lady without mercy.致命的吸引力.

還有Carly Simon用低沉的嗓音淡淡訴說婚姻的平凡與疲累:

 

"That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be"

My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark.
The living room is still;
I walk by, no remark.
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
My mother reads her magazines.
I hear her call sweet dreams,
But I forgot how to dream.

But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.

My friends from college they're all married now;
They have their houses and their lawns.
They have their silent noons,
Tearful nights, angry dawns.
Their children hate them for the things they're not;
They hate themselves for what they are-
And yet they drink, they laugh,
Close the wound, hide the scar.

But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.

You say we can keep our love alive
Babe - all I know is what I see -
The couples cling and claw
And drown in love's debris.
You say we'll soar like two birds through the clouds,
But soon you'll cage me on your shelf -
I'll never learn to be just me first
By myself.

Well O.K., it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be,
You want to marry me, we'll marry,
We'll marry.
  

 以及俏皮動聽的You're So Vain.

同樣是寫前男友.這首歌比Joan Baez的"Diamond and Rust"怨懟多了.歌裡的花花公子,屬於所謂的人生勝利組.

雙十年華的我,從枯燥的理論與文學史裡得不到感動.倒是這樣把歌曲與文學結合的方式,讓人體會到生命的深厚與層次.而這豈不就是文學與藝術的入門?

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